People say Howard Dean was a nutjob. Check out Steve Balmer

Four Words: Way too much koolaid.

Loads of upset bloaks emailed us to say how nutty we are. Well the truth of the matter is this. Google has one source of income its called advertising. People quit advertising as much in the down times.

Down times are coming says Father Time. If down times come how does Google float?

Is Google headed down Enron’s path to destruction? I sure as hell hope not. But apparently sources inside of the Googleplex. Most notable a janitor has said the atmosphere is fairly similar to that of Enron.

The employees don’t really care about the janitors. We still find unflushed toilets. People leave pop cans at their desks. We are expected to clean this up. This is the same kind of mess I had to clean up at Enron every night. I’m constantly looking over my back hoping that Eric or Sergei don’t get upset because I am always taking a six pack of Free Pepsi home every day. And I’m the guy who let’s people in for a free lunch in the cafeteria. I also usually scarf 4 meals a day at Google. I mean we all have the same benefits. I just seem to get looked down upon because I am not a web developer, or the Chief Blogging Officer. It’s just a crime. People treat janitors the same here as they did at Enron. And it was janitors who brought that company to its knees and the entire state of California. If we have to do the same to Google we will. If they don’t start paying more attention to us. I mean seriously how hard is it to pick up a pop can and put it into the recycyling bin?

Technorati and Six Apart are gaining in their merger talks according to an insider (janitor) at Six Apart. Apparently Technorati needs some help and would like to give money back to its users like Six Apart does. Sifry realized it didn’t make the users pay for Technorati so he needed another approach. They contacted Six Apart and asked for advice in fixing a major blunder. They continue to have the same problems over and over again. It’s called scalability. They need money to buy more servers and are running out of it. Just like Typepad. So what the hell if anyone is going to fix their problems it will be Six Apart. And now we know why Six Apart needed all that cash a few weeks back. Two horrible server management companies finally getting into bed with one another with no real business plans and horrid PR Departments.

You heard it here first. Schnitzle baby.

Google has been in late night talks at the local Dunkin Donuts and reportedly has acquired Writely for just the right price. Reportedly Google CEO Eric Schmidt had to give Writely CEO Sammy Shillace a ride in Google Force One, the prize winning jet used by only the Google Exec squadron.

In related news Googlish Exec Sergey Brindokoff also purchased Irows merely to help launch GDrive into overdrive and compete with the all too famous archaic Microshaft Dirty Windows. The terms were also undisclosed. Google announced these very important purchases at an underground bunker where they are testing their new Google Office Suite which will include Google Calendar, Google Writely, Google iRows, Gmail, Gtalk,Google Pages, and GDrive all wrapped up with voicemail. Woot Woot. Google has finally gone and done it.

We made all this up because well its our first post for The Fake News you are gonna be getting around here. Unlike real reporters we never verify our sources. And we make half of it up. You could find a wee bit of truth in all of this mess. We won’t cover many blog networks but when we feel inclined we will. In other un related news 9rules to launch 9rundles a new service to auto comment on blogs that talk negatively about you. It’s like an auto pr machine except backwards. It’s supposed to make you look bad. While this new product makes no sense. Nothing that 9rules unleashes on the net does. So suprise. Calacanis predicted their doom yesterday. We affirm it too.

Ok there are a lot of rumors surrounding all these top secret blogging clubs. I mean networks. We have a few sources that say its this big peace of the pumpkin pie:

Weblogs Inc to become Netscape.com portal in rebranding phase from AOL. Netscape to become super blogging portal in attempt to bring blogging mainstream by AOL. Here’s the layout of “The Plan”.

AOL buys Netscape Inc. (already done)

AOL buys Weblogs Inc. with some big plans in mind. (done too)

AOL develops new Netscape Browser around Firefox.

Weblogs Inc becomes Netscape and becomes less blog network more portal. (very soon)

AOL improves Netscape browser to include built in content from WIN now branded as the new Netscape (soon)

AOL starts selling broadband at dirt cheap prices, prepackaged with the new Netscape.com portal (soon)

Netscape and Calacanis rescue AOL from mediocrity.

Calacanis named AOL CEO/President in Time Warner spinoff. July 2007.

Too many matza balls for me.

First off from my meager search of blog networks and what not. They come in all RandomShapes and Sizes. There are blog networks about sex. Ummm so so soon to come. And there are blog networks about sports. And there are blog networks about blogs. Lord have mercy this is apart of it. There is even a blog network about working. Which most of us bloggers don’t even know how to do. There is even a blog network about adhd people. This I just found out. So i found it interesting when Cowboy told me he went and snagged another partnership. One with RandomShapes.com, the people I made fun of in a post a few days ago. One, teens do develop good content. Matt Jones over at Random Shapes has done a helluvah a job with the selection process.

Take a look at this site: Raining Noodles

This content was obviously not created by a Myspacer. No talk about how horrible her make up is. Or her ex boyfriend cheated on her brother’s uncles cow’s cousin named Bertha. This is good content. I just wished half of the other blog networks had writers like this. Way to go Angelique.

My take on the partnership of RandomShapes and BlogMedia Inc :

If you can’t beat em, join with them to destroy compete with the other blog empires.

Disclaimer: I’m getting paid 10 cents for every link that directs traffic to Random Shapes. So if you don’t click on the links I am going to have to tell your wife/husband about me cheating with you and about that one time I caught you with… Well you get the point. I know your boss too. BTW this isn’t a threat. It’s just a friendly warning. We have nothing to do with. Um nevermind.

ADDvantaged, Inc., a publisher of information and resources for people with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), today announced the launch of an online ADHD information community built on a blog network. The network, comprised of blogs written by respected authors and professionals in the field, as well as those of individuals with ADHD, is the first of its kind for the 12 million Americans with the condition, and addresses the extensive personal, social and occupational challenges that adults and children with ADHD face.

No seriously I think its ok for people to start a blog network even if they won’t read it, or might get distracted and forget to bookmark it. Either way its about time stupid distracted people got their own network. Heck Im thinking of signing up and getting a cool badge. Wait they don’t have badges.

Goto the distracted blog network for dummies

In yet another publicity stunt. One of the better ones in the last few thousand years. God has taken his prayer shawl off and has started blogging!

Oh My Fucking God. I can’t wait to get in there and start commenting. Vaspers you better not spam God he’s a busy boy, err I think he’s a boy. Maybe God’s a girl?

The bad news is God fortells the future and says that Tagging is the language of the future.

Go see God’s Blog

A bunch of pipsqueaking Myspacers have launched their own blog network after hearing reports that Blog Networking is the cool thing to do. They couldn’t come up with a better name than Random Shapes, which look a lot like the toys they play with. So here it is the next big thing is a Kids Blog Network. Hahaha what’s next after that a toddler’s blog network? BTW What’s a blog network for anyhow?

Come on Chartreuse pitch us some real news?



This is how the Schnitzel crumbles.