I go to work to work.

No, that’s not a line from a Dr. Seuss book, it’s how I really feel. I’ve had jobs that loaded conference rooms with pool tables, installed soda fountains in the kitchen and put pinball machines in the hallway. These so-called perks didn’t phase me at all. In fact most people became numb to them after a few weeks on the job.

You might not want to admit it, but I ask that you say it with me:

We go to work to work.

And that’s why I make a request. A demand!

STOP SENDING ME E-MAILS WITH PICTURES OF THE GOOGLEPLEX - I DON’T CARE.

Seriously. Whether the coffee tables are made out of a fish tank or every employee is issued a solar-powered motorized bike to navigate the ‘campus,’ the reality is, these folks still have jobs to do. They still have micromanaging bosses. Annoying commutes. Coworkers with bad breath. Etc.

Also, many of these e-mails are several years old. Check the expiration date before you eat the yogurt, friends.

So save yourself time and stop forwarding these ridiculous e-mails. It’s not like your boss is going to receive it and decide that you are too good to sit in a tiny cubicle under a fluorescent light. Your office cafeteria won’t add a sashimi chef to the payroll.

Keep your dinosaur skeleton replicas, dear employer. Just add some more coinage to my check.

I never want to hear that all young people are “into social networks” again. A recent little experiment I conducted proved otherwise.

Recently, I’ve been interviewing college-aged students for a summer temp position at my full-time gig. Since the job involves some writing and proofreading, I issue a short quiz that includes several basic spelling and grammar questions, along with some simple writing exercises. Since the organization would like to increase its presence on social networks, I figured I’d ask each kid to name three (excluding MySpace and Facebook).

I interviewed eight people for the position. Guess how many of them were able to complete the social networking question. That’s right. ZERO.

The students offered all kinds of excuses (‘I’ve been studying abroad’; ‘My brain froze’; ‘I’m not on the computer that often’).

Keep in mind, this job is for the INTERNET department.

I understand that the answers that eight people provided does not constitute a scientifically accurate focus group. However, these were smart kids with varying levels of education who have grown up within 30 miles of New York City.

During the candidate research process, I was able to locate several of them of MySpace and Facebook. However, many of the profiles were established several years ago and are not regularly updated.

Is the use of social networks by American youth overblown? Or are they simply only using MySpace and Facebook?

Speaking of which, out of the seven who had some sort of online profile, I’d say ALL of them had information that could easily be used against them when considering them for a position. In this case, they’re lucky I’m a nice guy.

I’ve often thought it but never said it: we’re out of ideas. Collectively. From the never ending big-screen remakes and adaptations to the gluttony of reality shows flooding the airwaves, we’ve gotten really good at recycling in the one area we need it least – entertainment.

The latest back-from-the-dead retread is Million Dollar Password, further proof that the “Million Dollar” moniker is enough to draw in viewers.

As if watching Allen Ludden and Betty White fall in love (those names probably mean nothing to you) on the original wasn’t enough, now we get to see Regis Philbin flirting with Rachael Ray. Gag-O!

The show, like the original, pairs a “regular Joe” with a “famous” counterpart. And yes, famous is in quotes. With “stars” like Laura Spencer, Monique Coleman and Rosie O’Donnell, who needs civilians!?

But ‘Password’ is not alone. Songs get endlessly covered, foods get refashioned into new shapes and classic cars always make a comeback. Let’s not forget the constant stream of blog posts that are copy and pasted.
Does all of this rehashing come down to ‘easy money,’ laziness or have some things simply been perfected?

Can no one come up with a game show concept that people will watch?

Extreme Go-Fish, anyone?
Jeopardy Boxing?
Who Wants to Be a Porn Star?

The list never ends, yet networks like to play scared. Heck, we’re still enamored with a leggy blonde who makes letters appear by touching screens. There are 101 ways to automate the process, yet we ignore them all.

It’s time to demand more, folks! And when we finally get it, I’ll be sure to blog about the death of traditionalism.

If you’re interested in watching the lights and drama of Million Dollar Password, Google it. I’m withholding links until someone sends me something original.

One of my few academic memories from junior high school is “Question Day.” This was a 45-minute period where our science teacher would permit the class to ask about anything. It was cool that we were able to go beyond since science, with his rationale being it all comes back to it anyway.

Back then, without the Internet, it was a great idea. Our question-asking options were limited. You simply couldn’t turn to mom or dad, an older sibling or the library for the “important” stuff. There’s nothing like knowledge imparted by strangers.

If information truly is power, we must all be superhuman at this point. The Q&A market is completely saturated.

Yahoo! Answers covers the bases, ChaCha helps you out on the go, and SocialThumbs makes sure we never have to make an independent decision again.

Is it possible that we are asking way too many questions and being barraged with too many answers. Always the analytical type, I’ve recently found myself bogged down with too much information. Decisions that were once made after a few minutes of thought now become a great big opus. I can barely move an inch without consulting with other people.

What has happened to me?

I need to Shut-up the strangers and put myself back on the road to self-reliance. Decisions about jobs and houses and kids and health – freom people who know nothing about me – mean nothing.

Do you feel the same way?

Jeez, another question! Make it stop!

How do you gracefully tell people to F off these days? Since everyone likes to play Internet P.I., it’s become increasingly difficult to end relationships. Something, quite frankly, I used to be very proficient at.

DeadSpace. EndSpace. LonerSpace.

That’s what the Web needs. A Website where you have no desire to tell anyone where you are, who you’re married to or what your current mood is. The site would be designed to tell people not to waste their time looking, because you have taken preventative measures not to be found. And even if the person does manage to track you down, this Website sends a message that you are not to be disturbed – forever.

Anonymity is a beautiful and important thing. I want mine back. Proxy servers help keep my surfing activity private. Can I get a
human proxy server?

From what your house is worth to how much money you make, the Internet reveals too much.

If I haven’t called, written or texted you in more than six months, it’s highly unlikely I want to receive a LinkedIn request from you.

Let alone grab a beer.

It’s no secret that as we get older we tend to shed our circles. Heck, mine is starting to look like a funnel. But that is by choice.

Before you send me (or anyone else) a friend request, I ask you to visualize the following:

Pretend there is no Internet. No computers. That means, any communication we have will have to be face to face.

Still want to connect? Probably not. Because these types of relationships take work – something most people are too lazy to put effort into. If you honestly want to reconnect, call me or drop by.

So consider the ‘Do Not Disturb’ doortag hanging on the door and buzz off!

The pope came to New York City, The pope left New York City. And the city that never sleeps is exactly as it was 72 hours ago. However, there were several moments of magic. The pope pulled off several feats that I never thought possible.

He Reversed Traffic. Who knew that one human being could be important enough to shut down vehicular traffic on Fifth Avenue for over a mile?

He Drives a Glass Car. No one questioned how many miles per gallon the pope mobile gets. I always though that Segways were silly looking. I challenge you to find me a sillier-looking vehicle.

He Looks Like Liberace. Is it just me that sees a resemblance between His Pontiffness and a certain 70s/80s ivory tickler?

He Likes Lace. I’ve been to mass and have never seen so many men wearing intricate lace clothing. And fur. Heck, maybe he IS Liberace.

For 81 years of age, the man is a walking marvel. He’s fit, lucid and a true messenger of good will. Thankfully, he is also speaking out against the abhorrent actions of a handful of child-molesting priests.

What the media fails to realize, however, is that only 25% o the U.S. practices Roman Catholicism. In short, many people simply don’t care. The top stories have been dominated for days. All I want is the five-day forecast.

If we’re going to be honest, the pope is a mane that represents a religious contingency that won’t acknowledge homosexuals, is anti-abortion, and against divorce and the death penalty.

I have to wonder, out of that 25%, who’s left to care?

Lunch was going swimmingly well. Delicious soup. A nice meatball panini. And the good news that my boss was promoting me.

Then it emerged…

The largest, slowest cockroach I have seen in my life. It paced behind my boss’s head. I didn’t have the heart to tell him that the restaurant he raved about was also a motel for the pest elite.

I understand that critters are everywhere. However, in hundreds of dining experiences, this is only the second time I’ve encountered a roach.

Despite good service, sharp food and a pleasant atmosphere, I’m a little bugged out.

And this raises the big question: Do you blacklist a restaurant if you see a bug?

I’m conflicted. Part of me vows never to return; part of me wonders if I’m being too harsh. Have my standards dropped so low that I’m making excuses for an establishment that allowed the unacceptable?

Perhaps I’m just mellowing with age. After all, nothing is perfect. Our significant others have flaws, dream homes become money pits and even your favorite sports team will employ a cheater. Does that mean you should get divorced, live in a studio apartment and stop rooting for the home team?

Who am I to say.

What would you do? Are 10 long, dangling legs enough to get in the way of a good meal?

I love books. I love learning. But I’d also like to remind bloggers who aspire to great heights the importance of beating to their own drum and ‘arriving’ on their own path.

The self-help aisle at the local book store chain grows everyday. Is anyone really getting better at anything?

How-to blogging guides can be useful in giving you a fundamental understanding of the conventional ways one could achieve success. SEO basics, monetization, the power of headlines, etc. – all good stuff. But I’m willing to bet that the blogosphere has become so saturated, that the next big thing – and I mean REALLY big thing – will be someone who breaks all the rules.

The path to success has more roads then we can imagine. Why not dream up a new one?

I also think there’s something wickedly ironic about the recent glut of bloggers inking book deals. Sure, I’d sign one in a heartbeat. But at some point, recycled content is just getting recycled once again, no?

The announcement of ProBlogger the book is sure to get people’s attention, and will undoubtedly make a ton of money. And I respect the authors immensely. I know you WILL learn from the book! I’m merely suggesting that you ask yourself if you’re playing the game by yours – or somebody else’s rules. I don’t want to keep up with the pack – I want to take the lead.

I have not seen or previewed the book. And am admittedly speaking in generalities. But let me ask you this:

What would you expect to read in a book on blogging that you haven’t already read on a “pro” blogging Website?

Just a thought.

The New York Times has sent a wave through the blogosphere, the way only old media can, by suggesting that the endless news cycle bloggers face is a serious health hazard.

I’ll concede the fact that striving to produce fresh content and cover a 24/7 beat is far from easy. However, I argue that, all things considered, bloggers are the least likely to croak because of their profession.

LOVE. We often hear, ‘Do what you love and never work a day in your life.” Since blogging is a labor of love for 99.9% of the people who do it, isn’t it fair to assume that the act of blogging is not taking a dramatic toll on their bodies.

Let’s take a pro baseball player, for instance. They are forced to perform while under great duress. Yet, (and correct me if I’m wrong), I don’t think they tend to die any younger then an electrician or used car salesmen. Athletes love what they do (you have to to make it to the pros). Therefore, stress and the toll it takes on your body, is instantly reduced. Don’t believe me? Next time you have to do something against your will that you don’t agree with, monitor your body and how it feels. Of course, stress is relative to the individual, irrespective of profession.

NO BOSS. Ask anybody who has ever collected a paycheck; one of the most sickening aspects of work is reporting to the dreaded boss. With the birth of large blog networks and corporate blogging, many bloggers are experiencing the pinch of somebody else’s editorial process. However, the bulk of bloggers report to one person: themselves. And unless you really hate yourself, it’s easier than reporting to some random douche bag.

Keeping yourself motivated and holding yourself accountable is not easy work. But it’s highly unlikely that it will send you to an early grave.

HOME. Full-time blogging is generally considered a work-from-home type job. Last time I checked, travel-related deaths (auto crashes, etc.) were a main culprit in snuffing out youth.

POOR. Despite a few money-making, A-list bloggers, the majority of us do not make good money. This can be the gateway to poor eating habits, something that actually can shorten your life. Long hours and low pay are a recipe for fast food, no exercise and poor sleeping habits – the trifecta for disaster.

I will give the New York Times credit: bloggers across the world are chatting this article up. But a few words of caution…

A New York Times reporter (who does their job well), is three times more likely to die young.

Hey, are you guys hiring?

My personal house hunt continues.

Living about 20 minutes outside of Manhattan, it’s difficult to find a house in our price range (I’m a blogger, she’s a teacher = you do the math!). There always seems to be a catch: train tracks, water towers, scary electric looking things, busy streets, and so on.

Is finding the right house impossible, or is it just me?!

While I find many of these things to simply be eyesores, they could have much larger ramifications. For example, what about the air we’re breathing in?

Since the air we breathe is often taken for granted (after all, it’s clear and odorless!), it’s easy to overlook air quality when house hunting.

But it doesn’t end there.

What about the 8,000 power plants scattered across America? Don’t you want to know what the Carbon Dioxide emissions are in your future or current neighborhood?

Of course you do.

Thanks to Fizber, you can now research data on climate change and the affect it’s having on the nation. Find out which U.S. states and cities are the most polluted. As you know it’s not just in our air…

it’s in the ocean too!

Whether or not you believe Global Warming is a phenomenon or a myth, there’s no disputing the fact that the Earth is constantly in a state of flux. The areas most likely to be hit the hardest by change are our 12,000 miles of coastline.

So before you buy that home that’s on the water…or even that condo that’s 2 miles inland…you NEED to understand what is happening to the surrounding area.

Using a neat Google map mashup, you can view a visual representation (an aerial, three-dimensional snapshot) of what the anticipated sea level rise will look like. After seeing portions on New Jersey and New York underwater – literally – I’m suddenly wondering if I should consider the middle of the country.

I’ve gotta run. There are a few open houses on the docket for the end of this week. However, rest assured, I’ll be researching more than just the crime and school districts of each town. I’d advise you do the same.

I know that dream house has to be out there…somewhere…