The New Sport: Beard Growing
There are many accomplishments in life that a man can be proud of. I’m not sure if growing facial hair should be one of them.
Over the past few years a slew of new Websites have hit the Internet where men can “bond” and battle as they watch their beards, and other people’s beards, grow.
Is the goal to put Gillette and Schick out of business? Nope, it’s deeper than that. It’s for beard supremacy.
I didn’t dare Google it, but you know some yutz is out there taking notes and planning TheWorldsHarriestChest.com or MyBackIsAJungle.com. The question I have is who the hell cares aside from the participants? Then again, I’m the same guy trying to rally everyone I know to stop routing for overpaid, cheating athletes. But at least sport pros have a skill, which I guess is my point. Hitting a 95mph moving object with a stick is a lot more impressive than being able to grow handlebars to connect your mustache and beard.
How far can you spit? A talent.
Who can eat more hot dogs? A talent.
Whistle out of your butt? A talent.
Even if you don’t consider these talents, at least they are things that set people apart. Beard growing competitions include everyone – except maybe 11 year olds and (most) women.
Whiskerino, the self-proclaimed greatest facial hair growing competition to hit the Internet, tracks four months of progress.
Movember, raises money for men’s health issues by having dudes grow mustaches for the month of November.
Both sites just experienced their biggest year ever.
And mark your calendars now! The World Beard and Mustache Championships (WBMC) are scheduled for May 23, 2009 in Alaska.
Some will dispute that growing a beard is a true test of character and perhaps even a vehicle to self-discovery. I say it just makes you itchy.
A beard growing competition? How exactly would that work then? I’m assuming it’s organised a bit like an athletics event; more of a marathon than a sprint, though. But what happens if someone decides to jump the gun: do the organisers declare a false start and compel all participants to shave their beards and start again? More details please. Your readers are on tenterhooks.
Chris said this on December 21, 2007 7:40 am
Oh Chris, they sure take these events seriously. Short of drug testing, you better play by the rules!
http://www.whiskerino.org/2007/
Andrew G.R. said this on December 21, 2007 12:54 pm