Arrr, me hearties! ‘Tis me favorite of all days, Talk Like A Pirate Day! Yarr!

You want to talk like a pirate? Don’t just change your words – change your attitude. John Baur and Mark Summers started this wonderful day about four years ago, and it’s exploded across the world since. One of their pirate wenches, Mad Sally, was in Wife Swap on Sept. 18th, if you can imagine trading your wife in for a swearing, hard-headed pirate wench, you get the idea!

But seriously, Talk Like A Pirate Day isn’t about running around with a peg leg and a parrot. It’s about a certain attitude, a freedom of thought and speech that some find refreshing and others find intimidating or threatening. (And there you have the gamut of reactions to me!) The Pirate Guys call it “pirattitude“. The rules behind it, as far as I can tell, are as follow:

1. Choose yer battles well, mate. If ye shoots a broadside at a galleon, ye’d best have more than a dinghy to back it up.

2. Never be afraid of saying what you mean, and not saying what you don’t. Tell me this: what kind of a world is it we live in, where we have to fear our own words? Though it’s not the government calling for it, is that not the realm of Big Brotherism? Where in all our treaties and all our contracts does it say we have to apologize for offending people? Sure, it’s nice. But only if you mean it. Which brings us back to the beginning.

3. Live your life on your own terms. Know that you are master of your own ship. You never have “no choice” in your life, even if you’re in prison and shackled hand and foot. Even if you’re about to die, you can choose to die well. Most of us aren’t at that point. Step back and look at your life. What choices do you really have? Now, instead of drifting into them as the wind whims, tack sail into the wind and shear forth where you will.

4. Read number 3 again. Really listen to it this time, because you didn’t the first time. Come back to it periodically.

5. Love your mates, and avoid your enemies. It’s the best way to live long and happy.

6. Laugh as often as you can—really laugh, not that weird you-live-longer-if-you-laugh semi-Buddhist thing that caught on a few months ago. Start here.

Yarr, me hearties! Adopt some pirattitude today, and confuse the neighbors when you tell them to heave to for boarding! (also fun at drive-thru windows)

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