New Twist on Dickless Marketing
Seems like dicks are running all over the place lately. Some accidentally shoot people. Others kick blogs out of networks for dubious reasons and in a shameful manner.
One bright spot: pot will soon become legal, any day now.
Why? Because Cheney had to be stoned, and I think the whole world knows that today. He had to be spliffing, and inhaling deeply, some big ass blunt, so don’t even try to convince me otherwise. To shoot at your friend so accurately you kill him, no drunk could do that. No, that takes the precision and finesse of a very high cannabis addict.
Dickless Marketing was invented by my friend, Yvonne Devita of Lipsticking blog. It refers to the Jane-dominant gene taking over from the mess of things we men have made. Men, yes. But all men, sans exception? Good question.
We now know that not all men are guilty of sordid sexism and patriarchal puke.
Some males treat everyone shabby…no matter what is or is not dangling loathsomely between their thighs. That is the triumph of universal fair treatment, and we must pause for a moment of silence to contemplate the sheer beauty of this quantum leap in moral evolution: thanks to the Butcher of Bloghdad, the unseemly overlord of 9Strap-ons.
Groin: “the depressed [oh come on, cheer up, it’s not that bad] part, or the fold [ooh baby, I love your fold] where the abdomen [you know, where the belly hole piercing attaches to main frame] joins either thigh”.
“Would you like a breast or a wing?” I ask the Supreme Ruler of 9Dorks, as I dig around in the Kentucky Fried Chicken bucket, deliberately flattening random french fries, because I like to smash things.
“No, I’d like a thigh” he pleads wimpishly.
“Sorry, Paul”, I chortle. “You have to have a groin, and something dangling loathsomely from it, to qualify for a thigh. Here’s your mashed feces with extra sewage gravy you special ordered.”
JOKE OF THE DAY: What word starts with “F” and ends with “UCK”? Firetruck. 
9strap-ons. Take you a while to come up with that one?
At least Cowboy was capable of being witty
Koray said this on February 18, 2006 4:09 pm
Thanks for the information. It took .00001 millionth of a brain cell to come up with that.
Vaspers said this on February 18, 2006 6:15 pm
98% of men in the United States have never been convicted of a violent crime or have ever served time in prison… And the majority of those who have (served time in prison) were only guilty of deciding for themselves which plants to ingest- speaking of pot.
This post (which is actually fairly witty imho) has me thinking of feminazism and so I just wanted to through that little well-hidden fact out there
Fortyone said this on February 18, 2006 11:38 pm
41, for those who don’t know, is a proficient Cut & Paste music composer.
He recently sent me, free of charge, a “motherload” shipment of all 10 of his music CDs.
Thanks again 41.
Vaspers said this on February 18, 2006 11:47 pm
Ha ha. Too funny for comments.
John Evans (SYNTAGMA) said this on February 19, 2006 5:23 am
Love your dark rainbow blog header graphic and your interview, though brief, with Jason Calacanis.
Vaspers said this on February 19, 2006 11:59 am