Golf has always been one of my most hated sports. First off its boring. And the only time I ever played. I was really horrible. To me golf is a walk in the park spoiled by a little white ball. Many try, but many more fail. Blogging as a profession is much like this. It seems like only the ones that Google likes make it to the top right?

Not really. It seems like with all the social bookmarking sites. Just about anyone could be a professional blogger. If they only networked properly, and wrote high quality content. It seems like a new great site pops up every week teaching us how to be great.I could name lots of them. Performancing for example. How to Make a Million Dollars with your Blog. On and On. It goes. But how many sites tell you how to become a truly unsuccessful blogger?

That’s what we are here for. We believe its a niche just about no one covers. We are here to help. Here is our secrets.

The 7 Traits of Highly Unsuccessful Bloggers

Inconsistency
The number one secret weapon behind every unsuccesful blogger is pure and simple inconsistency. Starting a blog, and never updating will make you an uber-unsuccessful blogger. There are plenty of ways to start free blogs. Please let me point you the way. {cough} wordpress, Blogger.

Public Stats
Having public stats when you first launch is like putting a sign on your bar that says no one is here. People go to blogs for community atleast give them the impression that people are reading,commenting,etc. That’s if you want to be successful. If you really want to fail put a brand new sitecounter up and watch the incoming traffic get scared away by the lack of other visitors.

Never Make Lists
So many successful bloggers use lists. But if you want to remain on the outside looking in the surest bet is never ever use lists. Because cool lists get you digged,slashdotted,memeorandumized,and delicioused. Remaining unsuccessful is hard but if you never use lists you are giving yourself a big hand up.

Blog Slapping
Another sure fire way to get yourself ignored is take random potshots at other bloggers. You would think it would work in your advantage but when you only have 4 readers and your constantly picking on them insulting them and the like they are going to run away. So if you are going to be unsuccessful figure out who your readers are and insult them.

Ripped Off Content
There is a lot of conversation these days about Blog Piracy. Basically stealing someone’s full feed and while this is a clever way to make a little cash while your on vacation in the bahamas, its also a secret way to piss everyone off and remain in the lower echelon of the blogosphere. I can point you to all the great tools in order to remaining blog scum.
I recommend:
RSStoBlog ,BlogtoRankand ArticleMiner. There are some others including a Wordpress plugin called FeedWordPress but this pretty much covers all the great content stealing services.

Generic Design + No Comments
Have you ever wandered into a site and there was a plain white template with big ugly fonts. It almost makes you sick doesn’t it? While it works for some for the rest of us it’s a good way to ensure that you don’t get a large readership unless you happen to find out that the president is getting his nobbin rubbed under the Big Oval. So don’t break any big stories, don’t have a good design, and turn your damn comments off. If you do this you’re on your way to being as unsuccessful as I am.

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