Seven Ways to Lose Money With Your Blog
I often find inspiration for posts from the strangest places. People who usually are actually trying to be serious.
I am making it a personal goal to not be my self anymore on this site. Some people have been offended and think I am actually being serious. Although every joke has some truth right? Maybe. I have decided not to continue making fun, bringing to light the scum of the earth that I usually do. Atleast until after the Hellidays. But here’s some absofuckinglutely new content you aren’t going to find anywhere else. Guaranteed. And if you are lame and link to me, or steal any portion of this original content. I will hunt you down, stomp on your toes, and sell your computer. Promised.
Seven Ways to Lose Money With Your Blog
1. Read More Than You Write.
Basically people spend to much time reading about topics that have no value. For instance I don’t understand why there are videogame blogs. Considering videogames are a huge waste of time anyhow. Why is it people create blogs about the biggest wastes of time on the planet. Then people who are marketing experts and have a blog about marketing spend 10 minutes a day reading about the new XBox or whatever it is. This to me seems silly. Now if they were trying to figure out the buzz behind that’s one thing, if they were trying to connect with there childrent thats another thing. But they arent they are actually just wasting time. Stop it. This is going to lose you money. And money is what makes this world go round. So stop wasting time and start creating. Or keep wasting your time. I don’t care.
2. Find ways to get delinked.
Stop running around the web causing chaos. I know. I am one to speak. I am the master of all chaos. But I am finding thousands of sites who have delinked me because of my negative comments in the past few days. Now come on folks. I deserve a little more love than that. In fact I am going to be running a Christmas special to the site that brings in the most amount of traffic over the next month will be getting a new I Pod. Free Gift from the Jack of All Blogs. So go ahead and link me. I love to bribe my readers. But seriously if you want to lose traffic piss people off. It works. People will delink you. This will cost you a lot of fricking money.
3. Be an arrogant bastard.
I have been seeing a lot of this lately. Starting with myself. I know I am the best. But I shouldn’t be spreading it all over the internet like some Donald Trump master of all. It causes a lot of tension and only leads to major fucking conflicts plus if you are a dick it will cost you a lot of money. Who wants to continue reading about some pompous little prick. I sure as hell don’t . So stop reading my site. Damn you readers.
4. Advertise all over your site.
There are a few people who think they are geniuses. They act all supreme but they aren’t fucking creative. They have no soul. They are just out here on the net trying to collect Google Dollars from there Adsense. It’s rather sick and disgusting. When are people going to figure out that quality is what counts and that careful ad placement is way more important that plastering your site like a sold out monkey on acid. Shitty ad placement will cost you big money and big readers. Like me. I weigh over 500 lbs. That’s why I have no pic to put up on the net.
5. Create Bad Content
Have you ever noticed when you go to a site that 80 percent of there content is just a bunch of delicous links, or retreaded cotton mouthed over used bull crap that I am tired of hearing about anyway? Yep you know what I am talking about. It’s about 50 percent of all the blogs out here in bloggerland. Reused information. Reprinted articles from some free content site. You know what mean. If you want to lose money on the net never ever write something original, and never come up with any new ideas.
6. Stop believing in yourself.
At some point we all need to stop reading all the fucking Blogger’s Block articles and realize that we really can blog. It’s not so much about changing scenery, or coming up with something new. It’s about believing that you can be yourself, that you are well respected, and if people don’t like it. They can go fuck themselves in a river so deep and so wide that everyone will forget about them. Come on. Just be yourelf. Write passionately. Because if you stop believing in yourself. Than you are going to lose a lot of money with your blog. And my friendship.
7. Forget about the four leaf clover.
If you really want to lose money on your blog. You will forget about and give up on luck, because you have never been lucky before right? I mean really. Giving up on luck may be the one key to losing all your money on your blog. After all luck is not the key to success. Or is it? I love my buddy Mark Cuban’s story on how he got to be successful. The truth is if you really want the traffic, the popularity, and to be succesful. There is no winning path. Most of it is luck. So stop believing in it. And start losing money.
>>de-link
Fuck ‘em
It’s what makes you interesting. Get a hold of yourself and have the courage of your convictions, you’ll get MORE links in the LONG run, trust me – im quite good at that game too
Nick WIlson said this on November 25, 2005 5:10 pm
I would agree. Fuck em. I have my convictions. I never lost them.
liberalcowboy said this on November 25, 2005 5:23 pm
liberalcowboy:
You can’t loose convictions, it’s opinion that you loose. All you can do, according to conviction convention, is modify them. That is allowed. Or swap them. Because then the amount remains, which is another rule of conviction convention. But then again, this is all so obvious, I wonder why I even say it.
At least that’s my opinion, which I’m convinced is right.
themaxx.ca said this on November 27, 2005 2:03 am
the conviction convention rule … wtf
liberalcowboy – my hat’s off to yer. You’re the gonzo blogger that we all wanna be…
Martin said this on November 27, 2005 7:30 am
Dude, when you are trying to say that a group of people has ownership of something, the word is “their,” not “there.” “There” is a place…”their” is possessive.
Bill Grammarchecker said this on November 27, 2005 3:50 pm
Only seven ways?
Thank God! This should be easy.
Calendar Girl
Calendar Girl said this on November 27, 2005 9:19 pm
[...] I taught you 7 Ways to Lose Money with Your Blog [...]
Monday Morning Roundup. » A Jack of All Blogs said this on November 28, 2005 3:43 am
you sound very much like somebody who is himself, I think I like that.
victor said this on November 28, 2005 11:59 am
My brother Bill has already instructed someone on the differences between “their” and “there” (although he kindly kept confusion out of the mix by not introducing the heavyweight “they’re”); I must now instruct as to when to use the word “loose”.
To “loose” something is to free it. It refers to an act of untethering, or untightening.
When one misplaces something or ends up being defeated, the correct word is “lose”.
Dumb fucking bastards.
Gabe Grammarchecker said this on November 28, 2005 5:37 pm
Man, three articles in and I’m depressed already. Do you write nice stuff, ever?
Mind you, nice dig at a few professional bloggers in that article, or was that just my overactive imagination. Bloggers block heh.
Point 1 – interesting. Mirror, anyone?
Andy Merrett said this on November 28, 2005 6:47 pm
Actually I also wrote an article on Blogger Block too. I was actually referring to my articles. If you don’t like my site. Go away. Your site sucks. I don’t read that crap. If you don’t like it leave. Adios. Bye Bye.
liberalcowboy said this on November 28, 2005 6:52 pm